Does anyone else watch shows like ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ and ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’?
If the answer is yes, then you’ll know what I mean when I talk about ‘the moment’ when a woman finds her dress. That moment she looks in the mirror, and her mum is crying, and the bridesmaids are crying, and even she is crying (and seemingly the whole bloody world is crying) because she looks so gosh darn beautiful.
As a wedding-addict (I love everything wedding-related. Blogs, TV shows, films, etc) I’ve grown up knowing about this moment. This magic moment of ‘YES! TO THE DRESS!’ where everything falls into place and all and any wedding-dress doubt is cast from the room.
I was fully ready to experience that moment, but it never really came.
In real life it’s not always like that.
My first wedding dress appointment I visited with only my sister. I wanted to keep thing low-key and have never been so grateful for my own good-thinking.
Basically it was this AWFUL hour of embarrassment, as this ‘hitler in heels’ shop assistant, told me what I could and couldn’t wear with my body shape.
“Oh no you don’t want that one, it’ll show up your hips….”
She says, putting the dress I just pulled back on the hanger.
“Well actually, I quite like my hips”
I murmur, my self-confidence sinking into my feet.
I’m sure she was offering what she thought was ‘helpful advice’ – but don’t ever tell a woman what she can and can’t wear. She can wear whatever the fuck she wants.
Aside from the ‘helpful, yet insulting’ advice, the boutique was boiling hot, over-booked and probably the least glamorous experience I’ve ever had. We weren’t even allowed to look at the dresses, we had to look at print-outs in a laminated book.
So in terms of a ‘yes moment’ – we didn’t get it here.
The next place I went to was better, but as UK size 16/18 (and with an ample bust), I struggled to actually try on any samples in my size. Most were a size 12 or 14 (which is normal – but frustrating) – which left me feeling a bit deflated.
Even though I tried on dresses I loved, how can I fall in love, if I can’t see the finished package? How can I spend £1000+ on a dress if I’ve never even tried it on in the right size?
So naturally, that ‘yes moment’ didn’t come at the second boutique either.
I steered clear of wedding dresses for a while after that. Until a wedding dress I adored popped up in my Pinterest feed. It was totally unique and something I hadn’t seen anything like anywhere else. I googled the designer and found that only one boutique in London stocked the sample.
Hesitantly, I gave them a call and asked if I could come and view the dress. The shop owner let me know straight away that they only had it in a 14 (I expected this) but told me I should come and take a look anyway. So I did.
This time, I went on my own.
I had the whole boutique to myself (a rule at this particular shop) and the shop assistant did everything she could to make me comfortable. I couldn’t try the dress on properly, but Jessie (the shop owner) knew exactly how to show me the dress and what the dress would look like on my body shape. So I said yes, because I loved the dress.
But even then, I still didn’t get my ‘yes moment’ because I haven’t seen the dress on me yet (not properly anyway), I still don’t know exactly how it will look on the day. It’s like looking a hotel room on the internet, versus actually being there in person. The two things are massively different.
I’m not sure why I’m even chasing after this moment, but maybe it’s part of feeling beautiful as a bride. I think I would quite like to make someone cry (even if it’s just myself!) because maybe then I would feel like the most beautiful version of myself.
Maybe that’s incredibly insecure (I suspect it probably is).
I’m hoping the ‘yes moment’ comes eventually. Maybe when I have my dress, the one that has been fitted and made for me. The one that fits perfectly and looks perfect.
Fingers crossed, hey?