I wonder if stock photos are taken from some alternate universe where you can look fabulous at the airport, and being windswept is only ever in the glamorous sense.
Because they sure don’t line up with my own experiences of travelling…
Preparing to travel in stock photos…
“Look at me in my perfectly ironed, no creases, outfit and my amazingly straightened hair”
Preparing to travel in real life…
“I woke up at 6am, I’m still half asleep, and that is why I’m only showing you my feet. It’s the only part of me that looks half presentable”
Getting lost in Stock Photos….
“Hey best friend with equally amazing legs, let’s sit jauntily on this wall and look at this massively oversized map”
Getting lost in Real Life…
“The map is clearly wrong. My feet are aching. Lets sit on the floor and I’ll use my expensive roaming data to figure out where we actually are”
Getting windswept in Stock Photos…
“Don’t mind me whilst I stretch out my beautifully tanned and shiny legs at the front of this culturally diverse wooden boat”
Getting windswept in Real Life:
*Shouting over the sound of crashing waves and holding on for dear life*
“I JUST STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR IN THE HOTEL AND NOW IT’S BASICALLY A DREADLOCK AND I HAVE SALT WATER IN MY EYE!!”
Making yourself at home in Stock Photos…
“I’ll still leave everything in my case all neat and tidy, but rearrange stuff ever so slightly so it looks like I’m a real person living an exciting life”
Making yourself at home in Real Life…
“YEAH HOTEL ROOM!! A SEMI-PERMANENT BASE! Let’s unpack everything we own even if we’re just staying for night!!!!”
Taking a selfie in Stock Photos…
“Look how adorable we are”
Taking a selfie in Real Life…
“Maybe taking a photo on this cliff edge wasn’t such a good idea after all. Oh well, let’s follow through, I’ve got the camera out now”
Experimenting with local dress in Stock Photos…
“I am so damn sexy in my oriental dress and mysterious pose on the mountains”
Experimenting with local dress in Real Life…
“No we don’t actually want to buy 4 hats, can we just borrow them for a photo?”
Roadtrips in Stock Photos….
“I literally could not look any cooler. With my vintage brightly coloured automobile and my retro luggage strapped on the roof. Best idea ever!”
Roadtrips in Real Life…
When you find a car that is below your budget…
“It’s from the 1970s? OK, age isn’t an issue, as long as it works!”
“It only has a cassette player? No worries, we can sing instead!”
“There’s no aircon? Sure thing we’ll just open all the windows!”
Jumping for joy in Stock Photos…
“OK everyone… After 3!!!”
“Yay it’s perfection! Look even the sun is in the middle of the shot!”
Jumping for joy in Real Life…
“OK, we’ve tried this like 10 times now. I’m really sweaty from jumping up and down and running to press the shutter button every 30 seconds. Maybe we should just steal one from Google Images?”
Hanging out in a hammock in Stock Photos…
“Let’s both of us hang out in this hammock and kiss and hug with no regards to the fact we’re both sitting in a hanging structure. Because it’s totally safe and not going to fall off or anything”
Hanging out in a hammock in Real Life…
“OK, after taking 15 minutes to gather the nerves to get in it, and then another 10 minutes figuring out how best to get in it, I’m finally in it. Take my photo quickly before I fall out”
Having a picnic in Stock Photos…
“Let’s pack colour co-ordinating tea towels and picnic rugs and then eat fruit and healthy stuff that compliments the colour scheme of the fabrics we previous chose. Fun!”
Having a picnic in Real Life…
“Let’s get all the awesome unhealthy food we’d never usually buy and also BEER. Also if someone remember a towel or something to sit on”
Trying out local delicacies in Stock Photos….
“Oooh I’ve never tried such amazing wine from this rare vineyard. Also check out the weather, it’s just amazing and exactly what you’d picture a vineyard to be like. How lucky for us”
Trying out local delicacies in Real Life…
“LOOK WHAT I FOUND!! IT’S JERKY MADE FROM KANGAROO”
Jumping in water in Stock Photos…
“WE ARE SO INSPIRING AND INSTAGRAMMABLE RIGHT NOW!”
Jumping in water in Real Life…
“Umm guys, I’m really sorry… But you might have to jump into that freezing cold lake one more time… I pressed the shutter too late”
Souvenir shopping in Stock Photos…
“Oh gosh, this culturally appropriate keyring will be just what Kevin wants”
Souvenir shopping in Real Life…
“Look I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but plleeeeaaaaseeeee?”
Air travel in Stock Photos…
“zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”
Air travel in Real Life…
“Maybe if I distract myself with the pretty view from the window, I’ll forget about how sleep deprived I am and how much leg room I don’t have”
All stock images used, were sourced from Getty Images.